Ajahn Brahm on Gay Marriage

Ajahn Brahm is my favorite Dhamma teacher of all. His talks are very simple and filled with humour.  But I wish he had time to address the issues and complications within the gay community. Buddhism tolerates human beings. There is no place for discrimination in Buddhism. All are equal and welcomed in Buddhism. But Buddhism does not tolerate every behaviour. 


Buddhist tolerance, acceptability should not be abused. Gays are welcomed in buddhism but that doesnt give them the "license" to do whatever they want.  Carnal or selfish love is tolerated but it doesn't last long. 


Sex is the physical culmination of a deeply satisfying emotional relationship, where both partners give and take equally. In my opinions sex shouldn't be the driving force on a marriage. Those who have become slaves to sex would only ruin love and humanity in marriage. Apart from that, a woman must cease to consider herself as the object of a man's lust. The remedy is more in her hand than in a man's. She must refuse to adorn herself simply to please a man, even if he is her husband. If she wants to be an equal partner with a man, she should dress so that her dignity is enhanced, and she does not become a sex symbol. Marriage for the satisfaction of the sexual appetite is no marriage. It is concupiscence. (Gandhi)


Love may indeed be a product of sex, but the reverse is likewise true: sex is an expression of love. In the ideally happy married life, both love and sex are inseparable.

Bottom line is that gay marriage, or even being gay is not wrong PER SE. What matters is the behavior, the conduct. May the gays find the happiness, Brahm explained in his speech. 

Related Quotes from Ajahn Brahm 

"We should not make our decisions or actions out of fear, out of desire, out of ill-will and stupidity."

"If its a loving, caring, non-exploitative relationship, with consenting adults at appropriate age, there seems to be nothing morally wrong with it."

 "He would embrace into the followers of the Sangha, prostitutes and criminals simply because he has a very non-judgmental and encouraging teaching to give to everybody."

"Make sure that your homosexual activities are kind, warm and loving, and that you don’t abuse those sexual urges"

"I think that the greatest danger of homosexuality is the abuse of their sexuality, just as sometimes men’s sexuality is abused with prostitutes"

Very Good Reads

http://www.buddhanet.net/winton_s.htm http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma7/marriedlife.html 

http://heartlandsg.org/2006/12/30/homosexuality-and-other-forms-of-queerness-excerpt-from-ajahn-brahm/ 

How far can a Condom protect you?

Whether you are gay or straight a condom will not guarantee that you won't get a sexually transmitted illness. But it is still BETTER to use a condom since it greatly reduces the risk.

Except for few, gays engage in risky promiscuous sex. (You are free to disagree, this is a blog and I have the total right to say what I feel) There are very many Facebook groups, discussions, threads, and various sites dedicated to network sex mates, which proves the point. Often these include graphic images and descriptions of their bodyparts, thickness, height and whatnot.

United States - Center for Disease Control (CDC) states that even though only 4 percent of men in the United States are MSM (Men who have sex with men) account for nearly half of the (approximately 1.2 million) people living with HIV in the United States. Percentage of young gay men who have been infected with HIV and the percentage with AIDS is much higher than other groups such as heterosexual people or children. It is worthy to note that topics like STD and sexuality are openly discussed in countries like USA.

The Condom: No Guarantee 

Against AIDS

Not just for anal

Gay people engage in oral or anal sex since they don't have anything else to do. Most people find anal sex very painful and oral sex quite unhygienic. Oral, anal or vaginal sex WITHOUT proper use of a latex condom or other barrier methods can transmit STDs including HIV. So, you need to wear a condom even if you gonna have oral sex. 
Anal sex is especially risky because it often causes bleeding. You can even get throat cancer from oral sex, says American Cancer Society Chief Medical Officer Otis Brawley, MD.

Even Kissing

Unless you do take your partner to a dentist for a full examination, kissing is dangerous.  STDs like herpes could be transmitted, just from kissing someone on the mouth. And while experts believe the risk of catching HIV (the virus that causes AIDS) from kissing is low, someone who has a cut or sore in the mouth has a chance of infection during open-mouthed kissing.

Don't have sex. Some gives too much importance to sex. Abstinence is the only sure way to avoid getting an STD.