Myth No. 2: ලිංගික යොමුව නොවෙනස්ව පවතී, Sexual orientation can never change.

ක්ෂණිකව හෝ මනෝ චිකිත්සක උදව් ඇතිව ලිංගික යොමුව වෙනස් වූ බව දහස් ගණන් පුද්ගලයින්ගේ සාක්ෂි වලින් සනාථ වේ.

Sexual Orientation/ලිංගික යොමුව ගැන කතා කිරීමට ප්‍රමුඛව ලිංගික යොමුව යන වචනය පැහැදිලි කිරීම අවශ්‍ය වේ. බොහෝ පුද්ගලයන් ලිංගික යොමුව යන වදන වැරදියට අර්ථකථනය කරති. ලිංගික යොමුව යනු පුද්ගලයෙකුගේ ලිංගික කැමැත්ත/ආකර්ෂණය, ලිංගික හැසිරීම් සහ  ඇතුලාන්තයෙන් හඳුන්වාගන්නා හෝ පිටතින් කෙරෙන ස්‌වයං හඳුන්වගැනීම (සමලිංගික, විෂමලිංගික හෝ බහු-ලිංගික ලෙස) යන සිද්ධීන් තුනටම පොදුවේ භාවිත කරන වදනකි.

සමලිංගික ආකර්ෂණයන් ඇති පුද්ගලයා සෑම විටම ලිංගික සම්බන්ධතා ඇතිකර නොගනී. එවැනි බොහෝ පුද්ගලයන් තමන් සමලිංගික යයි ස්වයං හඳුන්වාගැනීමද නොකරයි. පුද්ගලයෙකුගේ ලිංගික ආශාවන්, හැසිරීම් සහ හඳුන්වගැනීම් සෑම විටම නිත්‍ය නොවන අතර එය කාලය සමග වෙනස් වීම සිදුවේ.

මේ අවබෝධයෙන් පසු පැනනගින කරුණ වන්නේ සමලිංගිකත්වය යනු තෝරාගත හැකි දෙයක්ද යන්නයි.අති බහුතර අවස්ථාවන්හිදී සමලිංගිකත්වය තෝරා ගැනීමකින් තොරව සිදු වන්නකි. සමලිංගිකත්වය තෝරා ගැනීමකි යයි පැවසීම සමලිංගිකයන් හට කෙරෙන අවමානයකි. නමුදු පුද්ගලයින් දෙදෙනෙකු අතර ඇතිවන සමලිංගික ක්‍රියාවන් සිදුවනුයේ මිනිස් තෝරාගැනීම්,තීරණ වල ප්‍රතිපලයන් ලෙසිනි. තමන් සමලිංගික යයි කෙරෙන ස්‌වයං හඳුන්වාගැනීමද තෝරාගත් තීරණයකි. අධික අහර ගැනීම (over-eating) වැනි ක්‍රියාවන් අපහසුවෙන් වුවද වෙනස් කරගන්නා සේ මිනිස් ලිංගිකත්වයද වෙනස් කර ගත හැකි බව මුලික මනෝ විද්‍යාවෙහි ඉගැන්වෙන්නෙකි.

           

ආගමික හෝ මනෝ චිකිත්සක උපකාර නොමැතිව ක්ෂණික ලිංගික හැසිරීම් වෙනස් වූ අවස්ථා ද බොහෝ වාර්තා වේ. නිවුන් පුද්ගලයන් ආශ්‍රයෙන් කරන ලද සමීක්ෂණයකින් හෙළිව ඇත්තේ බොහෝ පිරිසක් සමලිංගික ක්‍රියාවන්හි නිරතව ඇත්තේ අවුරුදු 15 පෙර කාලයේදී පමණි යන්නයි.

වෙනස් කිරීමට අසීරුතම අංගය වන්නේ අභ්‍යන්තර ලිංගික ආශාවන් හා අභිමතයන් වුවත් ඒවා මනෝ චිකිත්සක උදව් ඇතිව පාලනය කර ගත හැකිය. සමහර අවස්ථාවන්හිදී මනෝ චිකිත්සාවෙහි අරමුණ සමලිංගික ආකර්ෂණය නොමැති වීම වුවත් නොවුවත්, චිකිත්සක ප්‍රතිකාර නිසා පුද්ගලයන්ගේ අනවශ්‍ය සමලිංගික ආකර්ෂණයන් බොහෝ දුරට අඩුකරගත් අවස්ථා ගැන වාර්තා වේ.  

1973 දී සමලිංගිකත්වය ඇමරිකානු මනෝ විද්‍යා සංගමයේ මානසික රෝග ලැයිස්තුවෙන් ඉවත් කිරීමට මුල්වූ රෝබට් ස්පිට්සර් විසින් සොයා ගන්න ලද කරුණු මෙම අමතක කල නොහැකිය.

උවමනාව තිබු පමණින්ම අනවශ්‍ය සමලිංගික ආකර්ෂණයන් නැවත ගැනීම සැම විටම සිදු නොවේ. ලිංගික යොමුව වෙනස් කිරීම අසීරු කර්තව්‍යකි. ප්‍රතිකාරයන්හි සාර්ථකත්වය හා කාල පරාසය පුද්ගලානුබද්ධ වේ. නමුත් සමලිංගිකයන් හට විෂමලිංගිකයන් විය හැකි බව බොහෝ සායනික දත්ත, පෞද්ගලික වාර්තා හා නොයෙකුත් පර්යේෂණ සනාථ කරයි.

Next Article :: Myth No 3 - ලිංගික යොමුව වෙනස් කිරීමට කරන උත්සාහයන් මනෝ විද්‍යා ආචාර ධර්ම වලට පටහැනිය හා හානිකරය.

 

Gay nerd's life: Can I Quit Being Gay For My Brother !?

Gay nerd's life: Can I Quit Being Gay For My Brother !?: Last two months, I decided to come out to my family but not to my brother. My parents told me he's still too young to know this and he might...

Buddhism and Homosexuality...continued

The first thing I would like to say from the Buddhist perspective is that, whenever we have a hard decision to make or hard choice to make, we must look at our minds to see if we have, what the Buddha calls, “perversions of thought”; that we should not make our decisions or actions out of fear, out of desire, out of ill-will and stupidity.

When we talk about the 3rd precept, of sexual misconduct, it literally concerns adultery or illicit sex, especially between a man or a woman who were not married and that concern sexual relations that were considered inappropriate at that time, but it certainly does not include homosexual and lesbian activities.

look at homosexuality in the same light as heterosexuality, in other words if its a loving, caring, non-exploitative relationship, with consenting adults at appropriate age, there seems to be nothing morally wrong with it.

…So if you are born with those tendencies, accept those tendencies and learn from them and certainly make sure that your homosexual activities are kind, warm and loving, and that you don’t abuse those sexual urges. I think that the greatest danger of homosexuality is the abuse of their sexuality, just as sometimes men’s sexuality is abused with prostitutes.

The above lines are a part of a Dhamma talk made by Venerable Ajahn Brahmavamso that I extracted from a Buddhist blog, to which I mostly agree. Ajan Brahm is my favorite of all. His book “Opening the door of your heart is my all-time favourite dhamma book.

But, Unfortunately I’m not sure whether there are any such loving, caring, mutually beneficial, non-exploitative, homosexual relationships, explained by Ajahn Brahm. May be there are such but very few to be noticed.

I would not make generalizations or stereotypes regarding homosexuals but it’s worthwhile to look at these comments or rather advertisements made by some gay men on public forums.

“Im bottom gay. If u like to sex with me and u have a place plz send msg to me.... Age 17-28 good looking handsome guys plz msg to me... Frm colombo.. Aurudu 17-28i athara bottom gaylata kamathi guysla mata msg karanna. Mata place ekak na oyalata place ekak thiyenawanam kiyanna Colombo wala.”

“Hi, 25 yr old smart and handsome guy from colombo, Lookin to meet an athletic smart guy aged 19-28 for a…………………………………. Please inbox me. Thanks”

“Sepak gamuda? Mama rajagiriye. Pot ekak tiyenawanam. 0758****** cal me.”

“negombo-colombo atara ada night set wenna puluwan yaluwek inna wanm call karanda.

mama btm or 50-50 fun gannawa

30ykettu yaluwo (slim) yaluwo only......072*********”

“hi guys. Tnx 4 the add. I like to meet u and hve a blast. Im 24, bottom frm mt lavinia. Preferece wil b given to foreigners.”

“hi I am from Sri Lanka at Colombo or Matara my age 29 hit 5.4 west sis 28 – age 19 - 35 I like to Bottom boys its 50% & 50% I m 100% top ok my cook sis 7.4inch nice to meet u call may Mobil”

These are very few to be shown as a typification. These messages are made as advertisements describing their physical attributes or the physical attributes they prefer. Such as the size of their organs, or what role they would like to play in an anal-intercourse. Their profile pictures would make flashy, fleshy, semi-nude, nude or pornographic pictures to attract sexual partners.

Buddhism’s tolerance on Homosexuality is thus exploited by gay-propagandists. They go on to an extent to say that Buddhism approves homosexual relationships of any kind. They use the growing popularity of Buddhism to propose that homosexuality is natural, innate and attempts to change such behaviours through reparative therapies are futile.

Brahm did not say that homosexuals are born that way. He made an assumption. There is lots of emerging scientific findings to confirm that homosexuals are not born that way.

A reply to Lakbima's Article - Disgraceful media bigots hound a gay man by Ranga Jayasuriya

http://www.lakbimanews.lk/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=3107:disgraceful-media-bigots-hound-a-gay-man&catid=35:news-features&Itemid=37

I write this post as a reply to the above linked news paper article published by the Lakbima, newspapers. This article justifies the work of COJ on fighting HIV in Sr Lanka,but I'd like point out whats really going on there. I think it’s very futile for Companions on a Journey to provide condoms and gel to homosexuals as a way of “fighting HIV/AIDS, when they try to help the causes which spreads HIV. We should treat the root cause not its side effects. I commend the COJ’s effort to fight HIV/AIDS. But at the mean time issues such as promiscuous sexual behaviour and addiction to sex should be prioritized. Which, I think, is almost ignored and sometimes promoted by the majority of gay community in Sri Lanka. Monthly gay parties with free offering of alcohol can be cited as one such example where unsafe sexual behaviour and promiscuity is promoted. One other thing-- I think it would be irrational to predict that a drunkard would consider protection when having sex.


In order to be politically correct, I don’t really care what homosexual do, until they keep it inside their bedrooms. What is more harmful than homophobia is he gay activist’s unscientific effort to normalize homosexuality, which is indeed a threat to any community.
There is a huge dissimilarity between a homosexual and a gay person. The term “gay” is socially constructed. It is arbitrary built by gay activism as a normal,healthy and legitimate life style. There are ego-dystonic homosexuals (Look at World Health Organization’s classification of mental disorders) who would benefit from reparative therapy but the so called gay organizations which says that they stands for “equality” unscientifically criticizes such therapies saying that they are harmful. I think such organizations are gate-keepers, which prohibits and denies an individual’s right to choice. In fact they are not harmful and practiced by the vast majority of mental health professionals in Sri Lanka as well as in other parts of the world.


May be the Health ministry and other organizations doesn't have in-depth understanding about what’s really happening in the gay community in Sri Lanka lead by foreign funded organizations such as COJ. Thanks to Rivira, now the ministry know and I heard that they have taken measures to look in to the matter.


I absolutely disagree when you say “Sri Lanka has been credited for its low HIV/AIDS prevalence rate, largely due to the thankless service being delivered by a host of organizations, including Companions on a Journey”. It is truly the social values, religious values morals and ethics we have brought forward and protected for centuries. Regrettably COJ and some other organizations working for international funds are consciously or unconsciously tryies to infiltrate the social order which protected Sri Lanka from HIV/AIDS for centuries. These facts were proven by the various international and local researches conducted to find the reasons for low prevalence of HIV in Sri Lanka.


Comments on the Comments


Neil Wistor 2011-10-10 18:19
Oh, and the Rivira said they recieved no complaints? Not surprising! I emailed the person who wrote the article to express my annoyance (to the address given in the article) and viola-- it was FAKE.
I have met many homosexuals in my life, both in Sri Lanka and abroad. And you know what, they're great people. Who CARES what the root causes are? If it allows to be happier and productive people, let them be that way! And almost all of those "health risks" can be applied to straight couples who have anal sex too.
Unbiased mental health professionals who inquire with an OPEN MIND have accepted that homosexuality isn't a mental disorder. At the end of the day, you're discussing about fellow human beings, just remember that.

I don’t think it was a fake email address. I also tried to contact him and experienced the same thing. Turned out that they faced a technical problem. Yes you might have met SOME homosexuals who are happy. Can you guarantee that they will be happier in the future? Or are you psychic to know that they are truly happy. Psychologists and various researches shoes that homosexuals have a poor quality of life. And that smoking, alcohol and drug abuse is high among them. Another cliché tactic of gay-activism : desperate effort to find loop holes within the heterosexual community and trying to compare the issues with heterosexual relationships. Besides, Gays have anal sex because they don’t have anything else to do. So the problems are high among them.
homosexuality per-se is not a sexual disorder. I agree. It is an ethic for the therapist to respect the patient’s right to remain homosexual or not. The therapist must proceed accordingly.


Arthi 2011-10-10 09:45
And if a community is at a high risk then it's a responsibility for a government to protect them from the disease. Do u know y gay men who have sex with men are at a high risk getting HIV ? it's b cos anal sex. y ? this muscle tissues in anal area is soft than a virginal muscle tissue. So if a man and woman has anal sex they are at high risk as well. And men are very much active when it comes to have sex. not only gay men straight men as well. That's y female sex workers are also a high risk population. and if a man doesn't wear a condom when he have sex with a sex worker he can get infected very easily as well. So are u gonna start a campaign against it also ? we cant stop 2 adult ppl having sex. that's their personal choice. but all what we can ask is to be protected and make it possible. And "Men who have sex with men " (MSM) not only gay men. It can be 2 straight men as well. it's only the sex act.

I agree Arthi. Yes that’s why HIV is high among homosexual community. And don't forget the bisexuals too, they work as a link between homosexuals and heterosexual transmitting HIV to heterosexual community. Don’t be a slave to your personal desires or choice. Rapists, pedophiles, murderers also act upon their personal desires and choice. But do we justify them? And don’t try to make stereotypes such as all the men likes have anal sex. Even though rare, there are loving, kind, and caring relationships among homosexuals, where no anal sex is involved.

Lakshmi 2011-10-10 09:39
.You haven't responded to some of my questions or come clear on what your agenda is. But i think you should start a campaign to stop all social gathering - Gay and straight as a way to stop the spread of HIV/AIDS - this is going back to your comment about Gay parties. ( and in case you dont get it - i am being sarcastic and trying to point out how absurd some of your arguments are) So you claim that the root problem is GAY men? What shall we do ? You can spend your lifetime trying to 'cure' the world of Gays but they are here! And they are proud. They have been here since man was around... and they will be here long after both you and I are dead. So here is a suggestion - Quit being stupid!

@Lakshmi – You asking me to quit being stupid sounds very desperate. And trying to generalize my views on "all social gathering" is illogical and absurd. Your reply is a good example for “attacking the person instead of attacking his argument. And NO,I never said that the root cause is "GAY men" You are trying to distract me by lying. Focus!! We are not talking about population crisis. Com-on Don’t be lame. I never asked anybody to stop being gay. (Although its possible most of the time) According the COJ’s report- Knowledge, Attitude and Practice in the gay community, gay identified men, and Men who have Sex with men in Sri Lanka “rates of unprotected sex with men among-st this population remain high”. That’s why COJ has come forward to fight HIV/AIDS. The root cause is the promiscuous sexual behaviour promoted by the so called gay organizations in Sri Lanka. You can ask a police officer around Galle Face hotel if you are not sure--- There were many incidents where gay men were caught having (unprotected) sex out in PUBLIC.


On the historic facts-- What makes you think that having a historic background makes something right. In the past rulers of Ceylon had polygamic relations with lots of women, now we don’t do that. Grow up and focus??


Arthi 2011-10-10 09:34
I would like if Lakbima or Rivira can make a platform for mental health professionals rather than for people who are just politically motivated and biased."
Now tell me to which category u fall in to this. ur a "mental health professional" ???? or just a boy who cant accept ur sexuality cos of the social or family pressure ? If u are accusing the gay activists ur doing the same thing been homophobic. ur arguments are simply confusing saying that ur not homophobic. ( bit stupid also ) If ur not homophobic u will just leave the people to be who they are and mind ur own business. but ur not. U have a blog which quotes misleading therapies which have been used very long time back. The mention therapies DOES NOT CHANGE A PERSON'S SEXUAL ORIENTATION.prove it by a WHO link since u show the world u know about mental health very much. And u are just challenging the Health ministry standards of Sri Lanka. Y dont u go and ask for a director post there. Lol
For Vishwanath's INFORMATION.... Will a High court will mislead the public in India ?? Stop spreading false information.. Be responsible.. ur playing games with innocent peoples lives...

@Arthi- I quote "The World Health Organization's ICD-10, which is widely used internationally outside of North America (where DSM-IV-TR is used), states that "sexual orientation by itself is not to be regarded as a disorder".it lists ego-dystonic sexual orientation as a disorder instead, the diagnosis for which is when "the gender identity or sexual preference (heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or prepubertal) is not in doubt, but the individual wishes it were different because of associated psychological and behavioural disorders, and may seek treatment in order to change it."" I agree, I don’t fit in to any of those groups you mentioned but I’m not gay or homophobic so I can be objective unlike you. Creating such a platform will definitely thwart the views bring forward by people like you. Besides you can ask any mental health professional to make things sure. You can even look at the APA and WHO manuals. Arthi U asking me to get a directorship sounds funny and embarrassingly desperate. (Like the last time someone like you wanted me to change my religion in to Christianity) lol Yes female sex workers too. May be that’s why prostitution is illegal in SL and in most parts of the US.
About the court rule. It was a political decision. Law is no always just. That’s something taught in Law it self. Yes polygamy, prostitution, pornography is legal in some parts of the world too. But do we approve of such things?? NO.


Ziggy 2011-10-10 09:22
@ Vishwanath - Yes, the gays that don't want to be gay, or ego-dystonic homosexuals, are free to try and change their sexuality if it makes them happy. That's free will. But a higher percentage of gays wish to remain gay, in the same way most straight people wish to remain straight. These are the people that Rivira is targeting, which is, as you so aptly put it - 'just politically motivated and biased'. If Rivira went through the trouble of consulting mental health professionals, they would be much more well informed, and would not have much ground to stand on in publishing such false information on their publication in regard to homosexuality.
Again @ Vishwanath - by your same purposeful and prolific thinking, it also makes sense to say the same thing about the global population crisis (7 Billion and counting, remember)
Every possible Family Planning org in the world knows that men having sex with women are the reason for skyrocketing populations around the world". So we should seek whatever solution you are insinuating with these people too I guess?

I have never said anything against the distribution of condoms. It's good. But it'll be better to treat the root cause rather than merely vending condoms. Why don't you ask a psychologist or a psychiatrist to publish an article.

@Ziggy – Im not sure on what grounds you say that “higher percentage of gays wish to remain gay”. Are there any professional research about that. Id like to see. As I said earlier there is a difference between being gay and being homosexual. And yes,Rivira had consulted a mental health professional(Which was published on Rivira) and I’m afraid he disagrees with you and agrees with me.Your argument is so bizarre that I don't know where to start. Population growth is a separate matter. Don't confuse yourself.

Live and Let Live

In order to be politically correct, or on humanitarian grounds one might say “yes” to homosexuality. The (APA) American Psychological Association is the prime example. Their stance on homosexuality is made on humanitarian and political grounds but not on science. If homosexuality is classified as a disorder it will further upset the homosexuals. They indirectly support reparative therapy. I hope that they will stress more on reparative therapy in the near future. Anyway APA is just one psychological organization limited to USA. It would not be wrong to say that most of the members of the APA accept reparative therapy since only less than 1/3 of APA members voted to remove homosexuality from classification of disorders. The US government and the World Health Organization are not by anyway linked to the APA. The issue is that there are individuals (mainly adolescents) who look for a way to get out of homosexuality. Many youths google the web for reparative therapy since it’s the most open and the most confidential way to get information. Unfortunately most of the web articles are wrong, outdated and biased. This is very harmful. It will DEPRESS the seekers of reparative therapy. It will deny them of effective help to their problems. They will live the rest of their lives in half-life, become drug-addicts (including alcohol and smoking) or might eventually commits suicide. Therefore crusaders of gay-activism must at least welcome the individuals who want to change. Admit their existence. That’s the way to live and let live.