A change of heart: My two years in Reparative therapy

සමලිංගිකත්වයෙන් මිදුණු පුද්ගලයන් දහසක් අතර එක් කතාවක් .

Read the full story here : http://www.peoplecanchange.com/stories/rich.php 

As we prepared to part ways, one time David had me lie down on the couch as he played soft music. Sitting behind me, he cradled my head and shoulders in his hands. "You ARE a man," I heard his strong, deep voice affirming. "You are strong. You are powerful. You have broken the power that once tied you to your mother's identity. You have proven yourself as a man among men. Men admire you and affirm you. You are one of them. You are a good and loving husband and father. You are whole. Not perfect, but you're okay not being perfect. You are whole."

Tears rolled down my face. I believed him! It was true, and I finally knew it. I was whole! I no longer desired men sexually. I was one of them, not their opposite. I didn't need a man to complete me. Yet the irony is, I felt more bonded and connected to men and manhood than I had all of my life. THIS is what I had been seeking all those years from all those men. THIS is what I had really wanted all along -- this REAL connection, not the fantasy one. Connection to God. Connection to men. Connection to my own manhood. Wholeness within myself. I felt my heart almost burst out of my chest with joy.”

HIV/AIDS in Sri Lanka on the rise


Extracted from DailyMirror – on World HIV prevention day.

Someone reading above stats might come in to conclude that heterosexual relationships are the root cause of the epidemic. But it is worth a while to bare in mind the hetero:homo ratio of population before jumping in to decisions.  Distribution of condom to prevent AIDS should be appreciated. But it has its limitations. There are some sexual acts (which can spread the epidemic) where contraception cannot be used and useless. So the issues like promiscuity and the importance of sticking to a one partner should be prioritized.

Gay activists complain that the stigma attached to homosexuality is the barrier in preventing AIDS among homosexual populations but the things are not different in Netherland which is said to be the haven of the gays. Homosexual community remains the most affected/high risk group prone to the epidemic. Same is true for USA where only 2% of the population identifies themselves as gay but accounts for 62% (Centre for Disease Control: USA) of the new HIV infections.

Source : http://www.thebody.com/content/art60339.html

ඒඩ්ස් සහ සමලිංගිකත්වය

Worldwide statistics confirms the strong relationship between homosexuality and AIDS.

On June 5, 1981, the first five cases of what came to be known as AIDS were reported in the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. Five gay men in Los Angeles, each diagnosed with a rare form of pneumonia, heralded an epidemic that was, in fact, already under way in major cities across the United States and around the world.

Shown here is a vertical bar chart entitled, “Estimates of New HIV Infections in the United States, 2009, for the Most-Affected Subpopulations”.
White MSM = 11,400
Black MSM = 10, 800
Women = 6,000
Latino MSM = 5,400
Black Heterosexual Men =2,400
White Heterosexual Women = 1,700
Black Male IDUs = 1,700
Latina Heterosexual Women = 1,200
Black Female IDUs =940
Subpopulations representing 2% or less of the overall US epidemic are not reflected in this chart.

MSM – (Men who have sex with Men) මිනිසුන් සමග ලිංගිකව හැසිරෙන මිනිසුන්

1981 ජුනි 5 වැනි දින ලොව ප්‍රථම ඒඩ්ස් රෝගීන් පස් දෙනා ඇමෙරිකානු රෝග මර්ධන මධ්‍යස්ථානයට වාර්තා විය. ඔවුන් පස් දෙනාම ලොස් ඇන්ජලිස් නගරයෙහි ජිවත් වූ සමලිංගික පුද්ගලයින් වීම විශේෂත්වයකි.

CDC estimates that MSM account for just 2% of the US population, but accounted for 61% of all new HIV infections in 2009.

අමෙරිකානු රෝග මර්ධන මධ්‍යස්ථානයට අනුව මිනිසුන් සමග ලිංගිකව හැසිරෙන මිනිසුන් සිටිනුයේ එක්සත් ජනපද ජනගහනයෙන් 2% වැනි ඉතා සුළු ප්‍රතිශතයක් පමණක් වුවත් HIV අසාදිතයන්ගෙන් 61% කට ඔවුන් වග කියයි.

In the 30 years since those first reports, 25 million people have succumbed to AIDS-related illnesses. Today, more than 33 million people are living with HIV/AIDS.

Shown here is a pie chart entitled, “Estimated New HIV Infections, 2009, by Transmission Category”.
MSM = 61% 
Heterosexual = 27% 
IDU = 9% 
MSM/IDU = 3%

How can I prevent HIV?

Be smart about HIV. Here's what you can do:

Get the facts—Arm yourself with basic information: How is HIV spread? How can you protect yourself? How can you protect your partners?

ඒඩ්ස් රෝගය පැතිරෙන විධි, ආරක්ෂාවීම පිළිඹඳ තොරතුරු වලින් සන්නද්ධ වන්න

Take control—You have the facts; now protect yourself and your loved ones. There are three essential ways to reduce your risk:

  1. Don't have sex (i.e., anal, vaginal, or oral).

ලිංගිකව හැසිරීම නතර කරන්න. (comment : ලිංගිකව හැසිරීම මිනිස් ජිවිතයක එක් ක්‍රියාවක් පමණි)

  1. Only have sex (i.e., anal, vaginal, or oral) if you're in a mutually monogamous relationship with a partner you know has the same HIV status as you.

ලිංගික හැසිරීම එක් විශ්වාසවන්ත පුද්ගලයෙකු හට පමණක් සිමා කරන්න.

  1. Use a condom every time you have anal, vaginal, or oral sex. Correct and consistent use of the male latex condom is highly effective in reducing HIV transmission.
If you are HIV-positive, let potential sex partners know your status before you have sex.

Put yourself to the test

Start talking to educate others.

Read More

Impact of AIDS on economic growth,household, firms and education.




Reply to a CULT post

සමලිංගිකත්වය සෑම විටම ජිව විද්‍යාත්මකව ඇතිවන දෙයක් යයි පැවසීම ලංකාවේ ඉන්න සමලින්ගික ක්‍රියාකාරීන් ඉතා ප්‍රබල ලෙස කරන දෙයක්.

පුද්ගලයෙකුට මානසික ප්‍රතිකාර ගෙන ක්‍රියාකාරී විෂම ලින්ගිකයෙකු වීමට ස්ව කැමැත්ත, හා අධිෂ්ඨානය තිබිය යුතුයි. මානසික උදව් බලෙන් ලබා දීමෙන් මනෝ චිකිත්සාව සාර්ථක වෙන්නේ නැහැ. කිසිම් මනෝ වෛද්‍ය වරයෙක් එසේ සිදු කරන්නෙත් නැහැ. නමුත් මානසික ප්‍රතිකාර වලින් ලිංගික යොමුව වෙනස් කරන්න පුළුවන් බව සෑම සමලින්ගිකයෙක්ම දන ගත යුතුයි. සමලින්ගිකයෙක් වෙනස් වීමට තැත් දරනවනං ඒ පුද්ගලයාව කොන් කිරීමයි අද සිද්ද වෙන්නේ.

සමලිංගිකත්වය ජිව විද්‍යාත්මක හා වෙනස් කල නොහැකි දෙයක් යයි සිතන පුද්ගලයින් සියදිවි හානි කිරීමට පවා පෙළඹෙනවා.

ලිංගික තෘප්තිය නොලැබීම,ලිංගික අපරාධ සහ දුෂණ වලට ගණිකා සේවනය හෝ නිල් චිත්‍රපට පිලියමක් නෙවෙයි. ඒවායින් ප්‍රශ්න තවත් වැඩිවෙනවා. මුදල් නාස්ති වෙනවා. සියලු ආගමික ශාස්තෘන් ඒවා ප්‍රතික්ෂේප කලේ ඒ හින්ද වෙන්නැති. ඇමෙරිකාවේ වුනත් ගණිකා සේවනය නීතිගත කරලා තියෙන්නේ ඒක ප්‍රාන්තයක කොටසක පමණයි. මේවා මුලික සමාජ ධර්ම. නිල් චිත්‍රපට වලට ඇබ්බැහි වීම සිදුවුනොත් එය මානසික ප්‍රතිකාර ගත යුතු තත්වයක්.

ලංකාවේ වුනත් ලෝකේ කොහේ වුනත් දික්කසාද වලට හේතුව සන්නිවේදන ප්‍රශ්නයි. ලංකාවේ මිනිස්සු මානසික ප්‍රතිකාර වලට යන්නේ පිස්සු හැදුනොත් විතරයි. යුරෝපා රටවල සෑම පවුලකටම මානසික වෛද්‍ය වරයෙක් ඉන්නවා.

" ක** දෙන්නෙ නැති පු* අරින්නෙ නැති ආදරය මත පදනම් වුන උත්තරීතර පවුල් ජීවිතය ගත කරන්න ලංකාවෙ ගොඩ දෙනෙක්ට ලැබෙන්නෙ නැහැ." නිල් චිත්‍රපට බලන බොහෝ දෙනෙක් සිතන්නේ මෙවැනි ලිංගික ක්‍රියාකාරකම් වලට හැමෝම කැමතියි කියල. මම හිතනහටියට ක** දීම, පු* ඇරීම වලට මිනිස්සු පෙළඹිලා තියෙන්නේ නිල් චිත්‍රපට හින්දයි. මේවා නිසයි සමහර පවුල් අවුල් වෙන්නේ. බහුතරයක් ගෑනු මේවට කැමති නැහැ. සංවේදීව ආදරය කරන කිසිම මිනිහෙක්ට ක** දීම, පු* ඇරීම අවශ්‍ය වෙන්නෙත් නැහැ.

ගෝලීයකරණයේ එක් නරක පැතිකඩක් තමයි මේකත්. මිනිස්සු ලිංගිකත්වයට අනවශ්‍ය ප්‍රධානත්වයක් දෙනවා. නිල් චිතපට බලපු මිනිහෙක් ගෑනියෙක් දිහා බලන්නේ බඩුවක් විදිහට. බුදු දහම අනුගමනය කරන පුද්ගලයෙක් විදිහට සෑම පුද්ගලයෙකුගේම පරමාර්ථය විය යුත්තේ නිවන් දැකීමට මග පාදගනිමයි.

සමලින්ගික හෝ විෂමලින්ගික හෝ වේවා තම ලිංගික සිතිවිලි මත පිහිටලා කටයුතු කිරීම නිවන් මග ඇහිරීමක්.

A Reply to a C-U-L-T Blog Post

අපේ රජවරුන්ට තිබූ අන්තපුරඑකගෙයි කෑම වැනි වැරදි අතීතයේ තිබුණු පමණින් සමලිංගිකත්වයද නිවැරදි යයි තීරණයට එළඹීම තර්කානුකුල නොවේ. අන්තපුර හෝ එකගෙයි කෑම අතීතයේ සිදුවුණා හෝ දැන් සිදු වුවද වරදකි.
ඔබේ ලිපියෙන් සැලකිය යුතු කොටසක් රිවිර පුවත්පතෙහි අඩුපාඩු කම් පෙන්වයි. Your article is a fine example for "Attempts to counter a claim or conclusion by attacking the person, rather than addressing the argument itself"

මගේ අදහස නම රිවිර යනු දේශපාලන පක්ෂවලට කඩේ නොයන පුවත් පතක් බවයි. එනිසා එය අනෙක් පුවත් පත් මෙන් වඩාත්  පාඨකයන් අතර ප්‍රචලිත වුයේ නැත. සමලිංගිකත්වය ගැන රිවිර  පුවත් පත හෝ කතා කිරීම ගැන මම සතුටු වෙමි.

සමලිංගිකත්වයට විරුද්ධව කතා කරන සියලු පුද්ගලයන් හට "නිලින සමලිංගික" "Closeted Homosexual"  යන ලේබලය ඇලවීම ඔබ වැනි පුද්ගලයන් විසින් බහුලව සිදු කරන්නකි. සමලිංගිකත්වය යහපත් දෙයක් යයී පවසන පුද්ගලයන්ටද එයම සිදුවේ.

"සමලිංගිකත්වය ජීව විද්‍යාත්මක බවත්, එය අපරාධයක් හෝ විකෘතියක් හෝ සුව කළ යුතු මානසික රෝගයක් නොවන බව විද්‍යාත්මකව පිලිගෙන අවසානය."  මෙය අමුලික බොරුවකි.  පුද්ගලයෙකු සමලිංගික හෝ විෂම ලිංගික වන්නේ ජිව විද්‍යාත්මක හේතුන් නිසාම නොවේ. සමලිංගිකලිංගිකත්වය ඇති වන්නේ ඇති බොහෝ විට සාමජ්යිය හේතුන් මතය. ඇති සුළුතර අවස්ථාවන්හිදී හොර්මොනමය බලපෑම නිසා පිරිමියෙකු පිරිමියෙකුට ආකර්ෂණය වී ඇති අවස්ථා වාර්තා වේ. නව යොවුන් වියේ සමලිංගික හැසිරීම් ඇති පුද්ගලයන් පසුව විෂම ලිංගික වූ බවට බොහෝ සමීක්ෂණ පෙන්වයි. සමලිංගිකත්වය ජිව විද්‍යාත්මක නම් එය එසේ සිදු නොවේ.
මිනිස් ලිංගික අවයව වර්ධනය වී ඇත්තේ විෂම ලිංගිකත්වයට සඳහාය යන්න මතක් කල යුතුය. 

ලෝක සෞක්‍ය සංවිධානය විසින් අනවශ්‍ය සමලිංගිකයන් (ego-dystonic) සඳහා මානසික උදවි  කිරීමට අවසරය දී ඇත.

සමලිංගික හෝ විෂමලිංගික වීම මිනිස් තෝරාගැනීමක් නොවුනද එක් පුද්ගලයෙකු හා පමණක් එක්වීමට තීරණය ගැනීම මිනිස් තොරගනිමකි. එය බොහෝ විට එසේ සිදුවන්නක් දැයි මට සැකයක් පවතී. නිතිපතා මත්පැන් සමඟ සංදර්ශන හා සාද පවත්වන්නේ සුහද හමුවලට පමණිද?

කොන්ඩම් බෙදා දීම ගැන මගේ කිසිදු විරුද්ධත්වයක් නොමැත. නමුත් එය තාවකාලික ප්‍රතිකර්මයක් පමණි. ගෝලීය සංවිධානයේ අනුග්‍රහය ඔබවැනි පුද්ගලයන් විසින් වැරදි ලෙස අර්ථකථනය කරති.
සමලිංගිකත්වය නිසා සමාජයට අසාධාරණයක් සිදී වේ හෝ නොවේ යයි මම තීරණය නොකරමි. නමුත් ඒඩ්ස් ව්‍යාප්තියට සමලිංගික හැසිරීම් සෘජුවම වගකිය යුතුය. http://www.cdc.gov/msmhealth/HIV.htm . ඇමෙරිකාවේ සමලිංගික ප්‍රතිශතය 2% පමණ වේ එහෙත් ඔවුන් ඒඩ්ස් රෝගීන්ගෙන් 62% කට වගකියයි. ශ්‍රී ලංකාවේ ප්‍රතිශයතය එයට වඩා දරුණු විය හැකිය.

නිතිය හා සමාජ ආචාර ධර්ම පටලවා නොගත යුතුය. සමහර රටවල ගණිකා සේවනය, කාම චිත්‍රපට වෙළඳාම, බහු භාර්යා සේවනය නිතිගතය. ඒවා නිවැරදි යයි අප පිළිගන්නේ නැත.

සතුන් අතර සමලිංගිකත්වය සිදු වන්නේ සතුන්ගේ මානසික හැකියාව සුවඳ හා ආඝ්‍රාණයට සිමිත වී ඇති නිසාය. පිරිමි සත්වයෙකු ගැහැණු සත්වයෙකු හා එක් වූ විට ගැහැණු සත්වයාගේ තරල පිරිමි සත්වගේ අවයවයන් හි රැඳෙ.වෙනත් පිරිමි සත්වයෙකු එය වැරදියට හඳුනා ගනී. සතුන් අතර (Cannibalism) තම වර්ගයාම අනුභවය දක්නට ලැබේ. නමුත් මිනිසුන් වන අප එය සිදු නොකරයි. බොහෝ අවස්තාවන් හිදී ඔබ ගැහැනුන් අතර ඇති සමලිංගිකත්වය මග හැර ඇති බව පෙනේ.

සමලිංගිකයකු හට මානසික උදව් ඇතිව විෂම ලිංගිකයෙකු විය හැකිය. එය ලෙහෙසියෙන් සිදු කල හැකි දෙයක් නොවේ. නමුත් සිදු වී ඇති හා සිදු කල හැකි දෙයකි. මෙවැනි ලිපි නිසා මානසික උදව් ඇතිව විෂම ලිංගික හැකියාවට පත්වීමට ඇති මාර්ග අවහිර වේ.

සොක‍්‍රටීස්, ප්ලේටෝ, ඇරිස්ටෝටල්, මහා ඇලෙක්සැන්දර්, හාන්ස් ක‍්‍රිස්ටියන් ඇන්ඩර්සන්, බයිරන් සාමි, ෆ‍්‍රැන්සිස් බේකන්, ඔස්කා වයිල්ඞ්, ලියනාඩෝ ඩා වින්චි, මයිකල් ආන්ජලෝ සහ නිශ්ශංක මල්ලව රජු  - පිලිබඳ පරස්පර විරෝදී මතවාද ඇත.එමනිසා මෙසේ තීරණ වලට එළඹීම සිදු නොකළ යුතුය. එල්ටන් ජෝන් සමලිංගිකයෙකි එමනිසා ඔහුගේ මතවාද        පුද්ගල නිශ්‍රිත වේ. ඔහු මනෝ විද්‍යාඥයකු නොවේ, සංගීතඥයෙකි. ඔබේ තර්කවලට අනුව මට මෙසේද පැවසිය හැකිය -- මාලන් බ්‍රෑන්ඩෝ මුලිකව සමලිංගිකයෙකුව සිට පසුව විෂම ලිංගිකයෙකු වූ පුද්ගලයෙකි.

සියලු සමලිංගිකයෝ පෙඩෝපයිල් Pedophile ගණයට අයත් නොවේ. එහෙත් බොහෝ  පෙඩෝපයිල් පුද්ගලයන් සමලිංගිකයන් වන බවට සාක්ෂි තිබේ.

රිවිර පුවතෙහි තිබු යටි හැඟීමට මමද එකඟ නොවෙමි. එහෙත් ඔබගේ ලිපියද එයට දෙවැනි නොවේ. ඔබගේ හැඟීම් නිසා ඔබට සත්‍ය වටහාගත නොහැකි සැටියක් මට පෙනේ. හැඟීම පසෙක ල දකින්නට පුරුදුවන්න.


Myth No. 2: ලිංගික යොමුව නොවෙනස්ව පවතී, Sexual orientation can never change.

ක්ෂණිකව හෝ මනෝ චිකිත්සක උදව් ඇතිව ලිංගික යොමුව වෙනස් වූ බව දහස් ගණන් පුද්ගලයින්ගේ සාක්ෂි වලින් සනාථ වේ.

Sexual Orientation/ලිංගික යොමුව ගැන කතා කිරීමට ප්‍රමුඛව ලිංගික යොමුව යන වචනය පැහැදිලි කිරීම අවශ්‍ය වේ. බොහෝ පුද්ගලයන් ලිංගික යොමුව යන වදන වැරදියට අර්ථකථනය කරති. ලිංගික යොමුව යනු පුද්ගලයෙකුගේ ලිංගික කැමැත්ත/ආකර්ෂණය, ලිංගික හැසිරීම් සහ  ඇතුලාන්තයෙන් හඳුන්වාගන්නා හෝ පිටතින් කෙරෙන ස්‌වයං හඳුන්වගැනීම (සමලිංගික, විෂමලිංගික හෝ බහු-ලිංගික ලෙස) යන සිද්ධීන් තුනටම පොදුවේ භාවිත කරන වදනකි.

සමලිංගික ආකර්ෂණයන් ඇති පුද්ගලයා සෑම විටම ලිංගික සම්බන්ධතා ඇතිකර නොගනී. එවැනි බොහෝ පුද්ගලයන් තමන් සමලිංගික යයි ස්වයං හඳුන්වාගැනීමද නොකරයි. පුද්ගලයෙකුගේ ලිංගික ආශාවන්, හැසිරීම් සහ හඳුන්වගැනීම් සෑම විටම නිත්‍ය නොවන අතර එය කාලය සමග වෙනස් වීම සිදුවේ.

මේ අවබෝධයෙන් පසු පැනනගින කරුණ වන්නේ සමලිංගිකත්වය යනු තෝරාගත හැකි දෙයක්ද යන්නයි.අති බහුතර අවස්ථාවන්හිදී සමලිංගිකත්වය තෝරා ගැනීමකින් තොරව සිදු වන්නකි. සමලිංගිකත්වය තෝරා ගැනීමකි යයි පැවසීම සමලිංගිකයන් හට කෙරෙන අවමානයකි. නමුදු පුද්ගලයින් දෙදෙනෙකු අතර ඇතිවන සමලිංගික ක්‍රියාවන් සිදුවනුයේ මිනිස් තෝරාගැනීම්,තීරණ වල ප්‍රතිපලයන් ලෙසිනි. තමන් සමලිංගික යයි කෙරෙන ස්‌වයං හඳුන්වාගැනීමද තෝරාගත් තීරණයකි. අධික අහර ගැනීම (over-eating) වැනි ක්‍රියාවන් අපහසුවෙන් වුවද වෙනස් කරගන්නා සේ මිනිස් ලිංගිකත්වයද වෙනස් කර ගත හැකි බව මුලික මනෝ විද්‍යාවෙහි ඉගැන්වෙන්නෙකි.


ආගමික හෝ මනෝ චිකිත්සක උපකාර නොමැතිව ක්ෂණික ලිංගික හැසිරීම් වෙනස් වූ අවස්ථා ද බොහෝ වාර්තා වේ. නිවුන් පුද්ගලයන් ආශ්‍රයෙන් කරන ලද සමීක්ෂණයකින් හෙළිව ඇත්තේ බොහෝ පිරිසක් සමලිංගික ක්‍රියාවන්හි නිරතව ඇත්තේ අවුරුදු 15 පෙර කාලයේදී පමණි යන්නයි.

වෙනස් කිරීමට අසීරුතම අංගය වන්නේ අභ්‍යන්තර ලිංගික ආශාවන් හා අභිමතයන් වුවත් ඒවා මනෝ චිකිත්සක උදව් ඇතිව පාලනය කර ගත හැකිය. සමහර අවස්ථාවන්හිදී මනෝ චිකිත්සාවෙහි අරමුණ සමලිංගික ආකර්ෂණය නොමැති වීම වුවත් නොවුවත්, චිකිත්සක ප්‍රතිකාර නිසා පුද්ගලයන්ගේ අනවශ්‍ය සමලිංගික ආකර්ෂණයන් බොහෝ දුරට අඩුකරගත් අවස්ථා ගැන වාර්තා වේ.  

1973 දී සමලිංගිකත්වය ඇමරිකානු මනෝ විද්‍යා සංගමයේ මානසික රෝග ලැයිස්තුවෙන් ඉවත් කිරීමට මුල්වූ රෝබට් ස්පිට්සර් විසින් සොයා ගන්න ලද කරුණු මෙම අමතක කල නොහැකිය.

උවමනාව තිබු පමණින්ම අනවශ්‍ය සමලිංගික ආකර්ෂණයන් නැවත ගැනීම සැම විටම සිදු නොවේ. ලිංගික යොමුව වෙනස් කිරීම අසීරු කර්තව්‍යකි. ප්‍රතිකාරයන්හි සාර්ථකත්වය හා කාල පරාසය පුද්ගලානුබද්ධ වේ. නමුත් සමලිංගිකයන් හට විෂමලිංගිකයන් විය හැකි බව බොහෝ සායනික දත්ත, පෞද්ගලික වාර්තා හා නොයෙකුත් පර්යේෂණ සනාථ කරයි.

Next Article :: Myth No 3 - ලිංගික යොමුව වෙනස් කිරීමට කරන උත්සාහයන් මනෝ විද්‍යා ආචාර ධර්ම වලට පටහැනිය හා හානිකරය.


Gay nerd's life: Can I Quit Being Gay For My Brother !?

Gay nerd's life: Can I Quit Being Gay For My Brother !?: Last two months, I decided to come out to my family but not to my brother. My parents told me he's still too young to know this and he might...

Buddhism and Homosexuality...continued

The first thing I would like to say from the Buddhist perspective is that, whenever we have a hard decision to make or hard choice to make, we must look at our minds to see if we have, what the Buddha calls, “perversions of thought”; that we should not make our decisions or actions out of fear, out of desire, out of ill-will and stupidity.

When we talk about the 3rd precept, of sexual misconduct, it literally concerns adultery or illicit sex, especially between a man or a woman who were not married and that concern sexual relations that were considered inappropriate at that time, but it certainly does not include homosexual and lesbian activities.

look at homosexuality in the same light as heterosexuality, in other words if its a loving, caring, non-exploitative relationship, with consenting adults at appropriate age, there seems to be nothing morally wrong with it.

…So if you are born with those tendencies, accept those tendencies and learn from them and certainly make sure that your homosexual activities are kind, warm and loving, and that you don’t abuse those sexual urges. I think that the greatest danger of homosexuality is the abuse of their sexuality, just as sometimes men’s sexuality is abused with prostitutes.

The above lines are a part of a Dhamma talk made by Venerable Ajahn Brahmavamso that I extracted from a Buddhist blog, to which I mostly agree. Ajan Brahm is my favorite of all. His book “Opening the door of your heart is my all-time favourite dhamma book.

But, Unfortunately I’m not sure whether there are any such loving, caring, mutually beneficial, non-exploitative, homosexual relationships, explained by Ajahn Brahm. May be there are such but very few to be noticed.

I would not make generalizations or stereotypes regarding homosexuals but it’s worthwhile to look at these comments or rather advertisements made by some gay men on public forums.

“Im bottom gay. If u like to sex with me and u have a place plz send msg to me.... Age 17-28 good looking handsome guys plz msg to me... Frm colombo.. Aurudu 17-28i athara bottom gaylata kamathi guysla mata msg karanna. Mata place ekak na oyalata place ekak thiyenawanam kiyanna Colombo wala.”

“Hi, 25 yr old smart and handsome guy from colombo, Lookin to meet an athletic smart guy aged 19-28 for a…………………………………. Please inbox me. Thanks”

“Sepak gamuda? Mama rajagiriye. Pot ekak tiyenawanam. 0758****** cal me.”

“negombo-colombo atara ada night set wenna puluwan yaluwek inna wanm call karanda.

mama btm or 50-50 fun gannawa

30ykettu yaluwo (slim) yaluwo only......072*********”

“hi guys. Tnx 4 the add. I like to meet u and hve a blast. Im 24, bottom frm mt lavinia. Preferece wil b given to foreigners.”

“hi I am from Sri Lanka at Colombo or Matara my age 29 hit 5.4 west sis 28 – age 19 - 35 I like to Bottom boys its 50% & 50% I m 100% top ok my cook sis 7.4inch nice to meet u call may Mobil”

These are very few to be shown as a typification. These messages are made as advertisements describing their physical attributes or the physical attributes they prefer. Such as the size of their organs, or what role they would like to play in an anal-intercourse. Their profile pictures would make flashy, fleshy, semi-nude, nude or pornographic pictures to attract sexual partners.

Buddhism’s tolerance on Homosexuality is thus exploited by gay-propagandists. They go on to an extent to say that Buddhism approves homosexual relationships of any kind. They use the growing popularity of Buddhism to propose that homosexuality is natural, innate and attempts to change such behaviours through reparative therapies are futile.

Brahm did not say that homosexuals are born that way. He made an assumption. There is lots of emerging scientific findings to confirm that homosexuals are not born that way.

A reply to Lakbima's Article - Disgraceful media bigots hound a gay man by Ranga Jayasuriya


I write this post as a reply to the above linked news paper article published by the Lakbima, newspapers. This article justifies the work of COJ on fighting HIV in Sr Lanka,but I'd like point out whats really going on there. I think it’s very futile for Companions on a Journey to provide condoms and gel to homosexuals as a way of “fighting HIV/AIDS, when they try to help the causes which spreads HIV. We should treat the root cause not its side effects. I commend the COJ’s effort to fight HIV/AIDS. But at the mean time issues such as promiscuous sexual behaviour and addiction to sex should be prioritized. Which, I think, is almost ignored and sometimes promoted by the majority of gay community in Sri Lanka. Monthly gay parties with free offering of alcohol can be cited as one such example where unsafe sexual behaviour and promiscuity is promoted. One other thing-- I think it would be irrational to predict that a drunkard would consider protection when having sex.

In order to be politically correct, I don’t really care what homosexual do, until they keep it inside their bedrooms. What is more harmful than homophobia is he gay activist’s unscientific effort to normalize homosexuality, which is indeed a threat to any community.
There is a huge dissimilarity between a homosexual and a gay person. The term “gay” is socially constructed. It is arbitrary built by gay activism as a normal,healthy and legitimate life style. There are ego-dystonic homosexuals (Look at World Health Organization’s classification of mental disorders) who would benefit from reparative therapy but the so called gay organizations which says that they stands for “equality” unscientifically criticizes such therapies saying that they are harmful. I think such organizations are gate-keepers, which prohibits and denies an individual’s right to choice. In fact they are not harmful and practiced by the vast majority of mental health professionals in Sri Lanka as well as in other parts of the world.

May be the Health ministry and other organizations doesn't have in-depth understanding about what’s really happening in the gay community in Sri Lanka lead by foreign funded organizations such as COJ. Thanks to Rivira, now the ministry know and I heard that they have taken measures to look in to the matter.

I absolutely disagree when you say “Sri Lanka has been credited for its low HIV/AIDS prevalence rate, largely due to the thankless service being delivered by a host of organizations, including Companions on a Journey”. It is truly the social values, religious values morals and ethics we have brought forward and protected for centuries. Regrettably COJ and some other organizations working for international funds are consciously or unconsciously tryies to infiltrate the social order which protected Sri Lanka from HIV/AIDS for centuries. These facts were proven by the various international and local researches conducted to find the reasons for low prevalence of HIV in Sri Lanka.

Comments on the Comments

Neil Wistor 2011-10-10 18:19
Oh, and the Rivira said they recieved no complaints? Not surprising! I emailed the person who wrote the article to express my annoyance (to the address given in the article) and viola-- it was FAKE.
I have met many homosexuals in my life, both in Sri Lanka and abroad. And you know what, they're great people. Who CARES what the root causes are? If it allows to be happier and productive people, let them be that way! And almost all of those "health risks" can be applied to straight couples who have anal sex too.
Unbiased mental health professionals who inquire with an OPEN MIND have accepted that homosexuality isn't a mental disorder. At the end of the day, you're discussing about fellow human beings, just remember that.

I don’t think it was a fake email address. I also tried to contact him and experienced the same thing. Turned out that they faced a technical problem. Yes you might have met SOME homosexuals who are happy. Can you guarantee that they will be happier in the future? Or are you psychic to know that they are truly happy. Psychologists and various researches shoes that homosexuals have a poor quality of life. And that smoking, alcohol and drug abuse is high among them. Another cliché tactic of gay-activism : desperate effort to find loop holes within the heterosexual community and trying to compare the issues with heterosexual relationships. Besides, Gays have anal sex because they don’t have anything else to do. So the problems are high among them.
homosexuality per-se is not a sexual disorder. I agree. It is an ethic for the therapist to respect the patient’s right to remain homosexual or not. The therapist must proceed accordingly.

Arthi 2011-10-10 09:45
And if a community is at a high risk then it's a responsibility for a government to protect them from the disease. Do u know y gay men who have sex with men are at a high risk getting HIV ? it's b cos anal sex. y ? this muscle tissues in anal area is soft than a virginal muscle tissue. So if a man and woman has anal sex they are at high risk as well. And men are very much active when it comes to have sex. not only gay men straight men as well. That's y female sex workers are also a high risk population. and if a man doesn't wear a condom when he have sex with a sex worker he can get infected very easily as well. So are u gonna start a campaign against it also ? we cant stop 2 adult ppl having sex. that's their personal choice. but all what we can ask is to be protected and make it possible. And "Men who have sex with men " (MSM) not only gay men. It can be 2 straight men as well. it's only the sex act.

I agree Arthi. Yes that’s why HIV is high among homosexual community. And don't forget the bisexuals too, they work as a link between homosexuals and heterosexual transmitting HIV to heterosexual community. Don’t be a slave to your personal desires or choice. Rapists, pedophiles, murderers also act upon their personal desires and choice. But do we justify them? And don’t try to make stereotypes such as all the men likes have anal sex. Even though rare, there are loving, kind, and caring relationships among homosexuals, where no anal sex is involved.

Lakshmi 2011-10-10 09:39
.You haven't responded to some of my questions or come clear on what your agenda is. But i think you should start a campaign to stop all social gathering - Gay and straight as a way to stop the spread of HIV/AIDS - this is going back to your comment about Gay parties. ( and in case you dont get it - i am being sarcastic and trying to point out how absurd some of your arguments are) So you claim that the root problem is GAY men? What shall we do ? You can spend your lifetime trying to 'cure' the world of Gays but they are here! And they are proud. They have been here since man was around... and they will be here long after both you and I are dead. So here is a suggestion - Quit being stupid!

@Lakshmi – You asking me to quit being stupid sounds very desperate. And trying to generalize my views on "all social gathering" is illogical and absurd. Your reply is a good example for “attacking the person instead of attacking his argument. And NO,I never said that the root cause is "GAY men" You are trying to distract me by lying. Focus!! We are not talking about population crisis. Com-on Don’t be lame. I never asked anybody to stop being gay. (Although its possible most of the time) According the COJ’s report- Knowledge, Attitude and Practice in the gay community, gay identified men, and Men who have Sex with men in Sri Lanka “rates of unprotected sex with men among-st this population remain high”. That’s why COJ has come forward to fight HIV/AIDS. The root cause is the promiscuous sexual behaviour promoted by the so called gay organizations in Sri Lanka. You can ask a police officer around Galle Face hotel if you are not sure--- There were many incidents where gay men were caught having (unprotected) sex out in PUBLIC.

On the historic facts-- What makes you think that having a historic background makes something right. In the past rulers of Ceylon had polygamic relations with lots of women, now we don’t do that. Grow up and focus??

Arthi 2011-10-10 09:34
I would like if Lakbima or Rivira can make a platform for mental health professionals rather than for people who are just politically motivated and biased."
Now tell me to which category u fall in to this. ur a "mental health professional" ???? or just a boy who cant accept ur sexuality cos of the social or family pressure ? If u are accusing the gay activists ur doing the same thing been homophobic. ur arguments are simply confusing saying that ur not homophobic. ( bit stupid also ) If ur not homophobic u will just leave the people to be who they are and mind ur own business. but ur not. U have a blog which quotes misleading therapies which have been used very long time back. The mention therapies DOES NOT CHANGE A PERSON'S SEXUAL ORIENTATION.prove it by a WHO link since u show the world u know about mental health very much. And u are just challenging the Health ministry standards of Sri Lanka. Y dont u go and ask for a director post there. Lol
For Vishwanath's INFORMATION.... Will a High court will mislead the public in India ?? Stop spreading false information.. Be responsible.. ur playing games with innocent peoples lives...

@Arthi- I quote "The World Health Organization's ICD-10, which is widely used internationally outside of North America (where DSM-IV-TR is used), states that "sexual orientation by itself is not to be regarded as a disorder".it lists ego-dystonic sexual orientation as a disorder instead, the diagnosis for which is when "the gender identity or sexual preference (heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or prepubertal) is not in doubt, but the individual wishes it were different because of associated psychological and behavioural disorders, and may seek treatment in order to change it."" I agree, I don’t fit in to any of those groups you mentioned but I’m not gay or homophobic so I can be objective unlike you. Creating such a platform will definitely thwart the views bring forward by people like you. Besides you can ask any mental health professional to make things sure. You can even look at the APA and WHO manuals. Arthi U asking me to get a directorship sounds funny and embarrassingly desperate. (Like the last time someone like you wanted me to change my religion in to Christianity) lol Yes female sex workers too. May be that’s why prostitution is illegal in SL and in most parts of the US.
About the court rule. It was a political decision. Law is no always just. That’s something taught in Law it self. Yes polygamy, prostitution, pornography is legal in some parts of the world too. But do we approve of such things?? NO.

Ziggy 2011-10-10 09:22
@ Vishwanath - Yes, the gays that don't want to be gay, or ego-dystonic homosexuals, are free to try and change their sexuality if it makes them happy. That's free will. But a higher percentage of gays wish to remain gay, in the same way most straight people wish to remain straight. These are the people that Rivira is targeting, which is, as you so aptly put it - 'just politically motivated and biased'. If Rivira went through the trouble of consulting mental health professionals, they would be much more well informed, and would not have much ground to stand on in publishing such false information on their publication in regard to homosexuality.
Again @ Vishwanath - by your same purposeful and prolific thinking, it also makes sense to say the same thing about the global population crisis (7 Billion and counting, remember)
Every possible Family Planning org in the world knows that men having sex with women are the reason for skyrocketing populations around the world". So we should seek whatever solution you are insinuating with these people too I guess?

I have never said anything against the distribution of condoms. It's good. But it'll be better to treat the root cause rather than merely vending condoms. Why don't you ask a psychologist or a psychiatrist to publish an article.

@Ziggy – Im not sure on what grounds you say that “higher percentage of gays wish to remain gay”. Are there any professional research about that. Id like to see. As I said earlier there is a difference between being gay and being homosexual. And yes,Rivira had consulted a mental health professional(Which was published on Rivira) and I’m afraid he disagrees with you and agrees with me.Your argument is so bizarre that I don't know where to start. Population growth is a separate matter. Don't confuse yourself.

Live and Let Live

In order to be politically correct, or on humanitarian grounds one might say “yes” to homosexuality. The (APA) American Psychological Association is the prime example. Their stance on homosexuality is made on humanitarian and political grounds but not on science. If homosexuality is classified as a disorder it will further upset the homosexuals. They indirectly support reparative therapy. I hope that they will stress more on reparative therapy in the near future. Anyway APA is just one psychological organization limited to USA. It would not be wrong to say that most of the members of the APA accept reparative therapy since only less than 1/3 of APA members voted to remove homosexuality from classification of disorders. The US government and the World Health Organization are not by anyway linked to the APA. The issue is that there are individuals (mainly adolescents) who look for a way to get out of homosexuality. Many youths google the web for reparative therapy since it’s the most open and the most confidential way to get information. Unfortunately most of the web articles are wrong, outdated and biased. This is very harmful. It will DEPRESS the seekers of reparative therapy. It will deny them of effective help to their problems. They will live the rest of their lives in half-life, become drug-addicts (including alcohol and smoking) or might eventually commits suicide. Therefore crusaders of gay-activism must at least welcome the individuals who want to change. Admit their existence. That’s the way to live and let live.

Are you addicted to sex and porn?

Issues like pornography and sex are taboo subjects in Sri Lankan society. The issues of pornography has become so common that It has become a "normal" phenomenon among youths. I am 23 years old and If I say that I am against pornography let alone the fact that I don't watch pornography I'll be ridiculed and laughed at. Its "not-so-posh" to be against pornography today and Ill be called a stupid conservative.

Various researches and thousands of clinical cases shows that homosexual community is often affected by pornography and sex addiction by a higher degree than heterosexuals. It doesn't mean that all homosexuals are porn and sex addicts. Pornography is affected by heterosexuals as well.

Someone might argue that pornography is needed to cope with the modern competitive stressful lifestyle. I disagree. In fact some psychologists calls porn the "most concerning thing to psychological health, existing today.I think pornography is worse than addiction to drugs like cocaine.

Jeffrey Satinover, an American psychiatrist sums up the effects of pornography as thus.
"Pornography really does, unlike other addictions, biologically cause direct release of the most perfect addictive substance," Satinover said. "That is, it causes masturbation, which causes release of the naturally occurring opioids. It does what heroin can't do, in effect."

Unlike cocaine pornography can be pumped into your house 24 hours freely. Are you, your family member or a friend affected by pornography or sex addiction? Then you should look for these symptoms.

Behaviors associated with sexual addiction include:
  • Too much masturbation.
  • Frequently engaging in more sex and with more partners than intended.
  • Wasting lots of time Crusading for sexual partners on Facebook.
  • Multiple or anonymous sexual partners and/or one-night stands.
  • Regular use of pornography.
  • Unsafe sex.
  • Phone or computer sex (cyber-sex)
  • Prostitution or use of prostitutes.
  • Exhibitionism.
  • Spending hours online looking for partners.
  • Obsessive dating through personal ads.
  • Voyeurism (watching others).
The life of the sex addict is revolved around the sexual thoughts. Sexual thoughts will disturb their day to day activities. Porn and sex addicts treat humans as sexual objects. Sooner the better for you or your friend to reach for effective psychological help to get rid of unwanted, disturbing attachment to sex for a happier,productive and efficient life.

Additional Links
Effects of Pornography - http://downloads.frc.org/EF/EF09K57.pdf
Porn and Child abuse - http://www.apa.org/monitor/2009/12/child-abuse.aspx
Another good link - http://ankerberg.com/Articles/practical-christianity/PC0607W2.htm

මිත්‍යා මත 10 ක් : ජිව විද්‍යාත්මක සාධක නිසා සමලිංගිකත්වය ඇතිවේ.

අංක 1
ජිව විද්‍යාත්මක සාධක නිසා සමලිංගිකත්වය ඇතිවේ.

සමලිංගිකත්වය සමග ජානමය හෝ අනෙකුත් ජිව විද්‍යාත්මක සාධක ආඳා ගැනීම විසි වැනි ශත වර්ෂයේ සිට බහුලව සිදුවන්නකි. 1991 වසරේ සයිමන් ලෙවායි විසින් මල මිනී යොදාගෙන සිදු කරන ලද පර්යේෂණයකට අනුව සමලිංගික පුද්ගලයින්ගේ මොළයෙහි වෙනස්කමක් ඇති බව ඉඟි කරන ලදී. එම වසරේම මයිකල බේලි සහ රිචඩ් පිලර්ඩ් විසින් නිවුන් පුද්ගලයින් ඇසුරෙන් කරන ලද පරීක්ෂණයකින් සමලිංගිකත්වය සඳහා ජානමය හෙතු ඇති බව උපකල්පනය කරන ලදී. අවසාන වශයෙන් 1993 වසරෙහි ඩින් හේමර් විසින් සමලිංගිකයන්ගේ ජානයන්හි විශේෂිත ක්රෝම්සොම් කොටසක් ඇති බව “නිර්ණය” කරන ලදී.
පුද්ගලයෙකු සමලිංගික වීම හා නිවුන් පුද්ගලයෙකු වීමට ඇති අවස්ථා ගණන ඉතා සීමිතය. ඉන් ලද තොරතුරු සත්‍ය වේ යයි උපකල්පනය කලද, ඉතා සීමිත පුද්ගල කොට්ඨාශයකින් ලබාගත් තොරතුරු සියලු සමලිංගිකයන් සඳහා යොදාගැනීමේ ඇති ප්‍රායෝගික නොවන බව මනාව පැහැදිලි වේ. 
සමලිංගිකතත්වය ජිව විද්‍යාත්මක හේතු නිසා ඇතිවේ යයි උපකල්පනය කළහොත් එක් නිවුන් පුද්ගලයෙකු සමලිංගික නම් අනෙක් පුද්ගලයාද සමලිංගිකයෙකු වීමේ ප්‍රවනතාව 100% ක් වේ.  සත්‍ය වශයෙන්ම එම ප්‍රවනතාව 50% ආශ්‍රිත බව මයිකල් බේලි විසින්ම පිළිගන්නා ලදී. අවම වශයෙන් එක් පුද්ගලයෙකු හෝ සමලිංගික වන නිවුන් යුගල 27 කින් දෙදෙනාම සමලිංගික වුයේ යුගල 3 ක් පමණක් බව මයිකල් බේලි විසින් කරන ලද පර්යේෂණයෙන් සනාථ විය. ඒ අනුව දෙදෙනාම සමලිංගික වීමේ ප්‍රවනතාව 11% බව සාධනය කරන ලදී. කොලොම්බියා සහ යේල් සරසවියෙන් සිදුකරන ලද පර්යේෂණ වලට අනුව එම ප්‍රවනතාව පිරිමින්ගෙහි 6.7% ක් සහ ගැහැණුන්ගේ 5.3% බව සොයාගන්න ලදී.
රිචඩ් පිලර්ඩ්, ඩින් හේමර්, සයිමන් ලෙවායි විසින් කරන ලද පර්යේෂණ වල ඇති දුර්වල හා අසාධාරණ විද්‍යාත්මක ක්‍රම, කුඩා වපසරිය,වැරදි නිර්ණායක  සහ අනෙකුත් වැරදි  වලින් ගහන විය. අනෙකුත් පර්යේෂකයින්ගේ සොයාගැනීම් හා මනෝචිකිත්සකයන් විසින් සැපයූ සායනික දත්ත සමග ඒවා සැසඳිය නොහැකි විය.
ඔවුන්ගේ පර්යේෂණ  වල යටි අරමුණ වුයේ මනෝ-සමාජීය මොඩලය (සමලිංගිකත්වය සමාජයීය හේතු නිසා ඇති වේ) බැහැර කර ජිව විද්‍යාත්මක හේතු නිසා සමලිංගිකත්වය ඇතිවේ යයි ඔප්පු කිරීමයි.


සමලිංගිකත්වය යනු ලජ්ජා සහගත විය යුතු කරුණක් නොවේ. එය ඉබේ ඇතිවන දෙයකි. එමනිසා සමලිංන්ගිකත්වයට විරුද්ධ වීම සදාචාර සම්පන්න නොවේ. එහෙත් සමලිංගිකත්වය ජිව ව්ද්යාත්මක හේතුන් නිසා හෝ උප්පත්තිය සමඟ ඇතිවේ යයි පැවසීම මිත්‍යාවකි. එහි ජානමය, හෝමෝනමය පදනමක්‌ නොමැති බව බොහෝ පර්යේෂණ වලින් ඔප්පු වී ඇති අතර දෙමාපියයන්ගේ හැසිරිම් රටාව මත හා අනෙකුත් සාධක මත එය තීරණය වන් බව් ගුණාත්මක හා  සංඛ්‍යාත්මක පර්යේෂණ මඟින් සනාථ කර ඇත 
තමන්ගේ ප්‍රතිරූපයට, ගති පැවතුම් වලට, අදහස් වලට තම සමලිංගිකත්වය නොගැළපෙන්නේ නම් එය Ego-Dystonic සමලිංගිකත්වය ලෙස ලෝක සෞඛ්‍ය සංවිධානය හඳුන්වයි. 
මනෝ වෙද්‍යවරුන් විසින්, මෙවැනි පුද්ගලයින් ඔවුන්ගේ ප්‍රතිරූපයට ගැලපෙන ප‍රිදි අනුවර්තනය සඳහා මනෝ චිකිත්සක ක්‍රම  යොදා ගනී. මේවා හානිකර නොවන අතර එමගින් සමලිංගික ආකර්ෂණය වලක්වා විරුද්ධ ලිංගිකයන් කෙරේ එලදායි  ලෙස ආකර්ෂණය ඇති කරයි. ඒ  හා බැඳුනු විශාදය වැනි තත්වයන්ද එමගින් නැතිවී යයි. මෙම චර්යාත්මක අනුවර්තනයන් කිරිමට අනුදැනුම ඇත්තේ ආචාර්ය උපාධිදාරි (Ph.D.) වෙද්‍යවරුන් හට පමණි. ශ්‍රී ලංකාවේද මෙවැනි අනුවර්තන කටයුතු සාර්ථකව ඉටු කෙරේ. 

You can quit being Gay if you want - A reply to a facebook post.

The very important discussion made within the Facebook’s SAKHI group is not open to public now. The group which stands for equality for all have hypocritically banned me from their group. According to SAKHI they are “a peer support group for GBT”.  Also the administrator decided to halt the conversation, abruptly. In a way it is good. Two reasons. Repliers they themselves will be able to cool down and see that their prejudiced minds have prevented them from seeing the truth. Anybody who reads the conversation as a whole would understand what’s happening there. Often the replies were out-of-the-way. They were not focused on the subject of the conversation; the outdated video “Is homosexuality a choice?”.


Why Reparative therapies have been there for a long time?

No they don’t make money by marketing reparative therapy. There is a very famous doctor in Sri Lanka who asks only 250/= rupees (around 1.5 $) from a patient. University lecturers are not paid an extra salary for teaching that homosexuality is not biological. And they don’t “have pre-conditioned views concerning the "wrongness" or the "evilness" of it”. Psychologists and Psychiatric specialists are bound to respect the choice of the patients. If the patient believes that he or she should continue to be homosexual, the specialist will help him or her to deal with the depression and other problems caused by the homosexuality.

I have more than enough mentioned my motifs here. I want to create a better environment for ego-dystonic homosexuals who are seeking reparative therapy. But you guys are like the champion out-of-the-track runners because you assumed that I’m a plainly anti-gay. Some of my answers might have implied such things, but it was your call. Deciding whether you should change is a very difficult task.

They are not after money, if they want to market conversion therapies they would put advertisements. And I didn’t find any such ads or even a website unfortunately.

Reparative therapy does not lead to Suicide or Depression, they actually prevent suicide and depression arose due to homosexuality.

There is no clear indication that reparative therapy made the boy in George Recker’s case, commit suicide. Only his mother says so. She must be feeling very sad like every other mother, I feel sad too. Therapy was given a very long time ago. Dr. George Reckers is not a closeted gay. He replies “It is surprising to hear that the focus of your article is the trip I took to Europe in which I had simply hired [the man] to carry my luggage as a travel companion… That fact is not the least bit newsworthy.” Dr. Reckers had undergone a surgery at that time. This kind of mudslinging, defamatory info will not hide the truth. After all it was just a photo. There is no proof to prove that the Dr. Reckers was a client of the male prostitute involved in the scandal. If you are to believe in internet scandals, you’ll have to believe that Anderson Cooper [the CNN representative who brought the news out] is gay as well. If he is so, he might be biased.

Exploiting Buddhist teaching to support homosexual political propaganda

Yes Lord Buddha had provided connotation about “anatta” in Dhammachakkappawaththana . You should also compare the intellectual capacity of the listeners in that historical event. If you look at the Pali Canon you won't find them addressed at all. There are records of “anatta” but they were not made my Lord Buddha. “Anatta” can be interpreted in a way which implies that there is no self. If there is no self, for example there is nothing wrong in sexually abusing your own daughter or killing your mom since everything [including astral body and physical body] is made of apo, thejo, wayo and patavi. That’s the danger of misinterpreting “anatta”. There are very clearly, defined and clearly observed reasons for the phenomenon of homosexuality. I have discussed about an environmental factor above; the parental influence. But none of you rejected and it was purposefully ignored.
Some people are not proud of their sexual history or even their own sexual thoughts. You are proud of your sexual history and you are OK being gay or Bi. I feel happy for you. You are an ego-systonic homosexual. I have not expressed anything against your kind.

Over generalizing of the women’s preference for anal sex that most women like it!!

You tried to generalize the fact that women in general like anal sex. I absolutely disagree. Most of them don’t as far as I know. Some of them HAVE to do so in order to save their marriage or relationship. Or to keep their husbands away from other women. It’s not mutual and often forced. Anal sex is often not motivated by love, generosity and understanding. A mutually understood couple will not need such things to keep their marriage/relationship flourishing. On the other hand there are researches done on preferred sexual practices. Please refer them. You can’t generalize you single experience on all the women. If you are sooo concerned about prostate stimulation of you, your boyfriend or the woman who do it with every tom and dick in the county, there are less painful and sensual ways to do that.

Mouth and Anus : two opposite ends.
You cannot compare mouth and the anus. But you can contrast them with the extremely different kinds of bacteria living in different ends. After all kissing is mouth to mouth. What you say you do is genital-anal, mouth-anal not anal-anal, which is impossible.

Anal sex is not a way of birth controlling
There are condoms and other modern, decent ways to birth control. Anal sex cannot replace condoms. Be careful of your promiscuous sexual behavior, since you simply don’t seem to use condoms. You might get infected with a sexually transmitted illness.

Homosexuality and Buddhism
This discussion was about the disastrous video. Look at the chronology of the discussion and see who brought out that topic. What I have said in my blog is true. It should be discussed there. On the other hand its homosexual activists who misuses Buddha’s teachings to justify sexual behavior. Lord Buddha never acknowledged homosexuality. He HAD to do so once when it was occurred among his follower-monks. There are accounts of other sexual philia like necrophilia, pedophilia etc. He must have refrained stating anything about homosexuality since it will create great public unrest and a Yes or a No will be misused. This conversation is a very fine example. When Lord Buddha’s step mother Maha Prajapathi together with Yashodhara asked for monkhood, it was rejected. However they were given monkhood under rigid conditions. They had the keep a specific physical distance from male monks. And Lord Buddha was not called an anti-feminist. What kind of problem would arise if a homosexual monk wanted to enter the monkhood?? There is a list of conditions under which some cannot enter the monkhood. And also in another occasion Lord Buddha advised Bakkula who entered monkhood solely for the attraction to Lord Buddha’s body. Anyway all forms of sex increase lust, craving, attachment to the body. Therefore Buddhist teachings should not be exploited to justify sexual behavior, whether it is homosexual or heterosexual. Why I don’t like is that, you using Buddhism to support your biology-centered theory of homosexuality, which discriminates people who seek reparative therapy, who thinks that their homosexual addiction is preventing them from being their true self and happiness. Lord Buddha probably had a purpose, when he decided not to say anything about homosexuality. Buddhism believes that like heterosexuality, pedophilia, necrophilia and Buddhism are humane and all these based on lust and cravings.

It’s happy to know that gay population is turning towards Buddhism. May they enlighten themselves that too much of attachment, lust and cravings will lead to suffering.

You are desperately trying to justify your arguments by saying that lots of gays are becoming Buddhist. That’s because Buddhism is a tolerant religion. Not because of the reasons you have stated in your unreasonable arguments. Homosexuals, Thief’s, rapists, pedophiles and killers are also welcomed in Buddhism. Welcoming doesn’t imply that they accept their rightness of behavior. Leave religion aside, this kind of reasoning is simply illogical.
Consenting Adults theoryHomosexuality doesn’t always suggest the sexual activity between two people. Homosexual is a homosexual whether he has sex with another or not. Heterosexual individuals do not need each other’s consent to get attracted to each other. It happens naturally as homosexuality. But it is not biological.

To : To Denver Peterson]
In replying to your cowardly deleted post, I must ask you to respect one’s the right to privacy. Your deleted comment clearly shows your anger and prejudice. I know what environmental and the dithery biological factors which made me a homosexual. Don’t put the lives of your “friends” in jeopardy. That’s very selfish. I am not sure whether you are a true friend to your friends. And FYI I never quoted from the NARTH’s articles in my last post. And I was providing scientific evidence. Their articles are very simple and straightforward. You have nothing to say against anything they say. You are preconceived with the idea that NARTH is a group of Anglicans. I bet you did not read any of those articles based on recent scientific studies conducted by scientists who don’t have connections to NARTH. And you are just worried that I’m quoting from NARTH. There are millions and billions of articles in the www. But it is really hard to single out the truth. To do that you don’t need have any IT knowledge. Yeah the replies are long, because I have to answer several of your comments, and had to waste my time on your repetitious “yanne koheda malle pol” counter-arguments. That’s simple as that. I know what my priorities are. Don’t call me “sweet” because now clearly know you mean one thing and say something else. I am not depressed. I used to be depressed at one time I thought that life is not worth living. I think that I’m living the happiest days of my life. Not sure whether it could get better.

As you said you are homosexual because you feel so, I know who I am and what my sexual preference is.

If one person sees this and realizes that change is possible, that’s enough for me. I think I have already achieved that. Your imprudent counter arguments helped in that process. Thanks

[To Anson Holzer]
There is nothing to be proud of sexual history. Sexual activities are based on lust and attachment to the body. And wherever there is pride there is prejudice. It is good that you are not embarrassed about your situation. But not all homosexuals. Some are very embarrassed and they would like to keep it a secret. Some develop depression and suicidal thoughts due to that embarrassment. They should have the right to seek reparative therapy. Isn’t that equality is all about.

You summed up your reply, suggesting me to change my religion to Christianity. That’s very funny because it reminds me of various Sinhala idioms. We don’t follow religion, due to religions stance on human sexuality. Commonsense comes before religion. We do not, kill, abuse, steal or get high because Lord Buddha said us to do so. That’s common sense.

It is not a choice. If it was a choice nobody would choose to be gay. Sexual orientation is shaped through childhood experiences. It is not biological.

There are lots of so called “literati” parrot-fashion Buddhist preachers. But the true understanding comes from within, not from what you read for your degree or any other illogical evidence.

We should not use Buddhism to justify sexual activity. All forms of sex increase lust, craving, attachment to the body. After all I didn’t use Christianity, Catholicism, Hinduism or Islam etc. to base my views. Unfortunately I had to bring out facts from Buddhism here since Buddhism was used to discriminate the rights of ego-dystonic homosexuals. The purpose of my blog or comments is to support the homosexuals who seek conversion therapy, not to discriminate homosexuals. Writing anything against homosexuality will further depress them, and it will be counter-productive.

Animal Homosexuality Myth

Like many animal rights activists, homosexual activists often "read" human motivation and sentiment into animal behavior. While this anthropopathic approach enjoys full citizenship in the realms of art, literature, and mythology it makes for poor science.

The following article is adapted from the author's recently published bookDefending a Higher Law: Why We Must Resist Same Sex "Marriage" and the Homosexual Movement.
In its effort to present homosexuality as normal, the homosexual movement[1] turned to science in an attempt to prove three major premises:
  1. Homosexuality is genetic or innate;
  2. Homosexuality is irreversible;
  3. Since animals engage in same-sex sexual behavior, homosexuality is natural.
Animals Do It, So It's Natural, Right?
The reasoning behind the animal homosexuality theory can be summed up as follows:
- Homosexual behavior is observable in animals.
- Animal behavior is determined by their instincts.
- Nature requires animals to follow their instincts.
- Therefore, homosexuality is in accordance with animal nature.
- Since man is also animal, homosexuality must also be in accordance with human nature.
This line of reasoning is unsustainable. If seemingly "homosexual" acts among animals are in accordance with animal nature, then parental killing of offspring and intra-species devouring are also in accordance with animal nature. Bringing man into the equation complicates things further. Are we to conclude that filicide and cannibalism are according to human nature?In opposition to this line of reasoning, this article sustains that:
  1. There is no "homosexual instinct" in animals,
  2. It is poor science to "read" human motivations and sentiments into animal behavior, and
  3. Irrational animal behavior is not a yardstick to determine what is morally acceptable behavior for rational man.

  • Although homosexual behavior is very common in the animal world, it seems to be very uncommon that individual animals have a long-lasting predisposition to engage in such behavior to the exclusion of heterosexual activities. Thus, a homosexual orientation, if one can speak of such thing in animals, seems to be a rarity.
  • Properly speaking, homosexuality does not exist among animals.... For reasons of survival, the reproductive instinct among animals is always directed towards an individual of the opposite sex. Therefore, an animal can never be homosexual as such. Nevertheless, the interaction of other instincts (particularly dominance) can result in behavior that appears to be homosexual. Such behavior cannot be equated with an animal homosexuality. All it means is that animal sexual behavior encompasses aspects beyond that of reproduction.
  • Human beings have sex one way, while animals have it another. Human sex is a question of preference where one chooses the most attractive person to have pleasure. This is not true with animals. For them, it is a question of mating and reproduction. There is no physical or psychological pleasure....The smell is decisive: when a female is in heat, she emits a scent, known as pheromone. This scent attracts the attention of the male, and makes him want to mate. This is sexual intercourse between animals. It is the law of nature.
In summary, the homosexual movement's attempt to establish that homosexuality is in accordance with human nature, by proving its animal homosexuality theory, is based more on mythological beliefs and erroneous philosophical tenets than on science.

Further Reading

The process of gender identification

The process of gender identification begins approximately between age two and a half and four. For boys, it is during this phase that they begin to move from their primary attachment with the mother to seeking out a deeper attachment with the father. For males, the relationship between a boy and his father is the initial source of developing a secure gender identity. It is through the father-son relationship that a boy discovers what he needs to know about being male, including who he is as a boy, how boys walk, how they talk, how they act, and so forth. As the father spends time with the son, shows interest in the son, and gives the son affirmation and affection, the father imparts to the son a sense of masculinity. The boy begins to develop a sense of his own gender by understanding himself in relation to his father.

When the child reaches the age of five, he begins to face another task, that is, to begin to attach to same-sex peers. At this age, he starts school and begins to look to the other boys to answer the same questions that his dad has been answering. He looks to the other boys to discover how they walk, how they talk, how they play, and how he measures up in relation to them. He seeks to be included, accepted, and acknowledged. Through the relationships he forms with other boys, he continues to gain a sense of masculinity, discovering more about others boys and therefore more about himself as a boy.

During the early years of elementary school, children are not usually very interested in playing with members of the opposite sex. They desire to spend time with members of the same sex. This is a very necessary stage of development, because a person cannot be interested in the opposite sex or in others, until he or she first understands himself or herself.

Eventually, after many years of bonding with members of the same sex, the boy enters puberty. At this time he begins to turn his attention to the opposite sex. He becomes curious about the gender which is different from his own, the female gender. With the simultaneous emergence of puberty, this curiosity becomes a sexual interest and a desire for romantic connection with the opposite sex.

Child who will develop a homosexual orientation

Conversely, for the child who will develop a homosexual orientation, this process does not happen. So, what happens in the development of gender identity that would lead a child to have same-sex attractions? Typically, for this child, there is something that prevents him from attaching to the father. Either he doesn't have a father or a father figure, or he doesn't have a father who he perceives as safe and/or welcoming. Of course, there are many children who grow up without fathers and yet do not develop a homosexual orientation. In addition, there are many children who have loving fathers, yet still become homosexually oriented. This is due to the fact that there are various factors that contribute to a homosexual orientation. Human development is very complex and includes events, as well as perceptions about the events.

Perceptions are very important. Perceptions are more powerful than what actually happens, because perceptions become that person's reality. Perceptions are influenced by temperament. For example, a child with a more sensitive temperament might perceive rejection even when rejection is not intended. Temperament is the biological contributor; however, temperament alone is not enough to create a homosexual orientation. The temperament type must be met with the right environmental factors in order to produce same-sex attractions. Typically the child who will later develop same-sex attractions is naturally sensitive, observant, intelligent, and is sometimes more artistic than athletic. This child often tends to personalize and internalize experiences and observations.

So, if a child perceives that his father does not want a relationship with him, that child might try a few times to connect with his father, but will eventually retract in self-protection. This is called defensive detachment. Upon sensing rejection, the boy chooses to reject the father in return. He detaches from the father and even what the father represents, which is masculinity (Nicolosi & Nicolosi, 2001). Typically at this point, he will stay connected to the mother and will instead soak in femininity. Usually he is also surrounded by other female figures, such as, a sister, an aunt, or a grandmother. So at a time when he is craving masculine input and seeking to understand himself in terms of his male identity, he instead receives feminine input and begins to develop a sense of the feminine.

By the time this child enters school, he often has a difficult time relating with other boys. Either he is just more comfortable with the girls, who are more familiar to him, or he is intimidated by the boys. Often this child sees himself as different from the other boys. So he may hold back from bonding with them. If he has developed any feminine mannerisms, he might also be rejected by the other boys and quite possibly even ridiculed. He is craving acceptance from the other boys and continues to need this acceptance, though the need goes unmet. The boy watches the other boys from afar, he longs to be noticed by them, and included by them, yet he remains with the girls, further gaining a sense of the feminine while deeply craving the masculine.

This child typically spends his elementary school years learning about femininity while craving to understand masculinity. Specifically, he desires to understand himself in terms of his own masculine identity. Yet, he does not assimilate with the same-sex parent or same-sex peers, so he does not acquire a masculine identity. He associates with the feminine, which is his primary source of input. He does not develop a secure gender identity. So by the time this child reaches puberty, the craving for male input has grown and intensified. At this time in his life he is not curious about or interested in the opposite sex. He already knows all about the opposite sex-- they are quite familiar to him. What he is craving to know about is his own gender. He still deeply longs to know about boys. He longs to experience connections with males. This emotional need, the need for same-sex love, which has gone unmet, now begins to take on a sexual form. His unsatisfied cravings for male love become romantic cravings with the emergence of puberty. (Satinover, 1996).

To this child, it feels very natural that he longs for male love. In fact, he typically thinks that he was born that way, having craved male love for as long as he can remember. Indeed, he has craved this love most of his life. However, initially it was not a sexual craving. Instead, it was an emotional craving, a legitimate need for non-sexual love, an emotional need that has become sexualized.

The female development of homosexuality is a bit more complex. As with the male development, there are a number of factors that can contribute. For some women who end up with same-sex attractions, the development is similar to the male development previously described. For others, negative perceptions regarding femininity may lead to an internal detachment from their own femininity. For example, if a girl watches her father abuse her mother, the girl might conclude that to be feminine is to be weak. At an early age she might make an unconscious decision to detach from her female identity. She might detach from her own gender in an effort to protect herself from the perceived harmful effects of being female.

Sexual abuse is another factor that can contribute to a homosexual orientation. In these cases men are seen as unsafe, and lesbianism becomes a way of protecting against further hurt from a male. For some there might be a disconnection from the mother, and lesbianism becomes a search for motherly love. For others, same-sex attractions may not initially be present, but may later develop as a result of entering into a non-sexual friendship which becomes emotionally dependant. An emotionally dependent relationship is one in which two people seek to have their needs met by one another. It is a relationship in which healthy boundaries are not in place. The absence of appropriate emotional boundaries can then lead to a violation of physical boundaries.

For any of these reasons listed above, and in combination with other factors, same-sex attractions may develop. To the one who has these feelings, they are very real and very strong. There are many people who find themselves attracted to members of the same sex and yet do not want those attractions. For those who are dissatisfied with their sexual orientation, it should be noted that change is indeed possible. Research studies have revealed that change of sexual orientation does take place (see Spitzer, 2003; Byrd & Nicolosi, 2002). It is not a quick or easy process, but as with any other therapeutic issue, varying degrees of change are achievable through therapy and other means.

The inaccurate concept that homosexuality is solely biological is extremely misleading. Many therapists tell their clients that homosexuality is biological and therefore unchangeable. These therapists encourage their clients to embrace a gay identity, even when such clients are seeking change for their orientation. In doing so, therapists negate clients' rights to self-determination. Clients have the right to choose their own goals for therapy and should be allowed to pursue the path they desire. Clients should not be discouraged from pursuing change when change is what they seek. In order for clients to have the options made available to them, it is vital that therapists as well as clients become better educated on this issue.

Julie Harren, Ph.D., LMFT http://narth.com/docs/hom101.html

Quit being gay's First ever post

I think the title of the blog will give you a glimpse of my blog. Its pretty straight,isn't it? I have been a "gay" for years and I was so convinced about the biological basis of homosexuality that I was very close to come out of the closet.  I was so overwhelmed about homosexuality that I was so happy when Ricky Martin declared that he is a proud gay. :P I am not homophobic. I think they have an awesome lot of potential. Like creativity. But they are mislead by the so called libertarians. I used to believe in all those biological,social,empirical and religious arguments favoring homosexuality. But I always wished to get married to a woman and have kids.

There is nothing inherently wrong with homosexuality, or according to APA there is nothing wrong per se. :)  It is not a choice one makes, like whether to go to Harvard instead of MIT. Experimental homosexuality doesn't count. Nobody has the right to judge someone else's sexuality.  Nobody has the right to decide whether a person should be straight or gay. As I mentioned earlier there is nothing wrong with two members of the same-sex have a sexual union. It does no harm, as far as I see. But there are kinds of typical/common behavior associated with gay life style. Promiscuous sexual behavior is one such clear pattern among gays. HIV and other STD is skyrocketing among gay community. Substance abuse, including smoking and alcohol is high among gays. Clinical records show that body image issues, depression, OCD and anxiety is clearly frequent among gays.

Ego-dystonic homosexuals are dissatisfied with their orientation.  WHO's diagnostic manual advises affirmative/conversion therapies for ego-dystonic homosexuals. Some call it reparative or re-orientation therapy. It is unethical for a therapist force a patient to take either of the choices. Patient's wish to change his sexual orientation,is supported by the therapist and it is followed by effective sessions of psychological counselling.

With the help of psychotherapy you can quit being a homosexual. You have the potential and strength. I know Its hard,But I must say that It's really worth. You will be free from the misery of judging your sexual orientation. You wouldnt have to worry whether you are attracte to men or women. Please reply. I love arguments. Wish you all the very best and courage to fight unwanted-homosexuality.

Cheers and ♥ to you all